Life can throw us some pretty fast curve balls. Just when it seems like you set your sights on something, Mayhem sticks its ugly head in to block progress. We know this to be true especially when we’re trying to challenge ourselves. But believe it or not, life’s bs is the least of your problems. What really defines our success or failure is our diligence and will to persevere through anything.
I was reminded of this yesterday while I was watching the show Extreme Weight Loss. Delta Soror Brandi Mallory (s/o to Clark Atlanta) weighed over 300 lbs and decided it was time to shed the physical and emotional weight that was holding her back. Despite her unsupportive girlfriend and not reaching a single checkpoint goal, she continued her journey to health and happiness to the end. 365 days later, at the very last weigh in, not only did she look even more amazing (she is already gorgeous), but she surpassed her weight loss goal. Standing as the epitome of Fortitude, Brandi showed off her new 178 lb frame with pride and confidence.
We’ve all been “tempted to drop” in more ways than one. Whether it pertains to Greek Life or your everyday life, defeat always looks like the best option right when you’re about to reach your breakthrough. When you’re feeling like “dropping” out of the race, try doing these things instead:
STAGE ONE: FEELING ANXIOUS
Don’t let anxiety get the best of you. When your nerves get worked up, it’s harder for you to concentrate and keep the end goal at the forefront. Instead:
- Take a deep breath, calm down and think.
- Leave for a second. If you can, physically remove yourself from a stressful situation. Go to another room. Take some time to inhale. Do a little dance ( I prefer the Michael Jackson pelvis thrust on bad days).
- Remove yourself mentally. If you can’t go anywhere, remove yourself mentally for a few moments. Meditate on positive vibes. Recite your favorite encouraging quotes or scriptures.
STAGE TWO: FEELING DOUBT
Once you start doubting yourself, everything else tends to go downhill from there. Rather than entertaining doubt:
- Give yourself a pep rally. You are great, you’re are capable and you are worthy of success. Remind yourself why you’re trying to accomplish your goal in the first place.
- Surround yourself around motivating people: chapter members, friends, family, mentors. Consult your my celeb mentors. Read or watch bios of your favorite celeb role models. Seeing them triumph through life’s ups and downs can serve as great motivation.
- Double up on “The Word”. Studying scripture can reinforce your faith. Print a few verses out and keep them close as a constant reminder that you can do this. And most importantly, God’s got you!
STAGE THREE: CONVENIENCE
Doubt will make you talk yourself into accepting defeat out of convenience. It’s lazy. It’s the easy way out. It actually takes more effort to make up excuses than to do the task at hand. Feeling sorry for yourself won’t bring progress. Get our of your pity party. PUSH THROUGH!
STAGE FOUR: REGRET
When you accept defeat, soon after you start feeling regret. The “coulda, shoulda, wouldas” start kicking in because you realize with just a little more effort, you could have reached your goal. We don’t want you to get to that state. And if you do, hope is not lost. NOPE! If you can, pick back up where you started from. If you have to start over, start over. Reevaluate the things you did right and wrong. Get a plan of action and start executing. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
STAGE FIVE: EMBARRASSMENT
Sometimes, we let our failures get the best of us. Everyone fails at one point in their life. Sometimes multiple times. When this happens, it’s easy for embarrassment set in. But, the reality is, there’s no need to be. We win some. We lose some. And we learn much. Use this as encouragement to cross the finish line the next time around. Because there will be a next time. The opportunity may not come like you want it. But it will come. And when it does, you’ll be ready!